Self-Advocacy: A Lifeline, Not Just a Strategy

From the moment my deaf son could communicate and express himself, I've been teaching him how to self-advocate. Not because I want him to grow up hardened or resentful, but because I know it's not a matter of if he'll need to advocate—it's when.

For my son, self-advocacy has become second nature for him. He is confident in telling someone he's missed part of a conversation. He'll ask for something to be repeated or explained. He'll request that people sign when they speak to him. He'll express his opinions and make sure he's included.

And he's only 4...

Right now, as parents, we're doing most of the heavy lifting. We're the ones reading the research and learning the systems and highlighting policies and understanding the acronyms. We're the ones fighting for interpreters, captioning, accessible classrooms and inclusive environments. But one day—we won't be there anymore.

There will come a day when he's sitting in a classroom and misses something the teacher says. A day where his peers forget his need for access. A day when he's at work and the meeting isn't accessible for him. A day where he wants to go to an event but there is no interpreter.

And on those days—he'll need to stand up and advocate for himself.

Over the years, I've seen too many kids sit quietly at the back of the classroom and just... fade. They miss instructions. They don't ask for help. They shrink themselves. They fall behind (not because they can't learn, but because they've learned that their needs are an inconvenience).

THAT'S the real consequence when we don't give our kids the tools to effectively self-advocate...

Because one day, we won't be there to fight. So we have to teach them how—with calm, clarity, and a bucketload of confidence. Self-advocacy isn't just a "strategy" for our kids. It's a critical lifeline so that they don't just survive, but thrive in this world. And it starts right now.

And remember 👏 There's a huge difference between confidence and aggression, and this is where I think some people get nervous about "teaching advocacy." But the thing is—I'm not raising my son to be reactive. I'm raising him to be assertive. And that means teaching him how to advocate in a way that is simple, direct, and grounded in self-respect.

Because here's the thing. This isn't about raising kids who are combative or resentful toward a world that often overlooks their needs.... It's about helping them understand their worth, who they are, what they need, and what their rights are—and to give them the tools to communicate that confidently and clearly.

And teaching this starts right now!